Over the years, I have written a few New Year’s posts. This time around, I decided it might be better to revisit some of the old ones and see how I size up rather than come up with a new batch of commitments to my future self.
I say this with two exceptions. Two things I’ve been stalling on for some time but the turn of the year (and decade) catalyzed me to finally act upon:
- Committing myself to doing instead of thinking. I mean this on the smallest of scales as well as the largest. On the small, it means not putting off the small errands like driving to the store and returning a package, rather just doing it immediately. On a mid scale, it means pushing myself to just act on the ideas and curiosities I have — like curbing my caffeine intake by cutting it for a week (which I did over the holidays)— rather than dwelling in preparation. On the largest scale, it reverts back to my birthday post “This is 28.” in taking bigger risks this coming decade.
- In an attempt to share my writing more efficiently, I finally created an email sign up list. Truthfully, I dragged my feet on doing this for so long because the impersonal nature of email lists removes some part of the writing that I so love. But, as social media has fragmented even further and people have asked for a way to stay tuned of my writing, I found no other way than to create this. If my words bring you joy, you can sign up here (or below) to be notified whenever I write a new post.
Now onto the personal report card…
- January 2016: “Don’t call it a resolution, but…”
- January 2017: “2016 + 1”
- January 2018: I must’ve been lazy that year
- January 2019: “What I learned from traveling alone”
As I review the years, the common theme is a push and pull between better care of myself (2016, workouts, meditation, less alcohol; 2017, more water), personal life balance (2017, double-book less; 2019, being outdoors), kindness to others (2016, less judgement), appreciation of the little things (2019, new music), stopping to smell the roses, etc. and a desire to achieve and accomplish more (2017, lead 3 investments, higher conviction). I wonder if I’ll ever find equilibrium here. I worry that I may not, but I’m getting more comfortable accepting that.
I see over the years a desire to give myself space and time to be creative (2017, writing; 2019, writing, live music) in addition to traditionally productive, as well as to be static and enable recovery (2019, solitude). I see the outdoors, music, and poetry as common denominators. I also see a desire to give more to others outside of the daily professional sphere within which I live (2017, volunteering; 2019, creating playlists), as well as to learn more about them (2017, world religions).
These desires are compounding and getting stronger and stronger with each passing year. Each year passes faster than the last and the resolutions feel like they come and go, but I’m starting to take note of the trend lines.
Perhaps this is why I didn’t want to write a 2020 commitments post, I felt more prepared to write something that felt like a ‘lifetime’ commitments post. A series of trends that I realize are becoming my values. An aggregation of small choices that make up the way I choose to live. Long-term choices that I hope to ingrain forever in my lifestyle, rather than short-term challenges against myself.
As a nod to the specifics, I’m proud of myself for taking to action on some of these ideals, for what better reward than having your resolutions become your habits. Some of these things include: more long form content, more frequent short workouts, less alcohol, more water, learning more about world religions, and being outdoors. I have fallen short on a morning routine, meditation, sharing my poetry, cycling, and finding mentorship — none of these things have become habit for me yet. And I fall somewhere in between on professional accomplishments, volunteering, finding community, and releasing judgement.
Here’s to a new decade and another iteration around the ☀️ :)
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